Weeks 21 and 22 Wrap-Up

There really isn’t much to report this week. If that totally bums you out, here’s some bad lip reading.

This week I wanna talk about baby bumps. Showing a baby bump has become this grand trend. Women have photographs taken, couples have photo shoots together, and some women even cast their pregnant bellies. Personally I don’t really get it, but I think that pregnancy cast would make a great chip & dip bowl. Salsa in one boob, cheese dip in the other, giant space for chips. Ideal, no?

Trouble is, the early pregnancy bump looks pretty awkward. Especially mine. I’ve always had a strange stomach. I have narrow sections of skin which come closer to my frame than the fatty sections, giving my fat the appearance of rolls, even when my frame is relatively trim. Some have described it as looking like my stomach is “banded”. I think the easiest description is that I look like a much trimmer Michelin man. While I’m sure there are plenty of factors to blame, like poor posture and tight waistlines when I was physically developing, I’m pretty sure it’s mostly the result of a bizarre genetic cocktail.

All that said, right now my baby bump is at the point of pushing my fat out of the way. So rather than looking pregnant, most times I just look like I’ve gained weight. The bump looks most round when I’m bloated, which makes me a little reluctant to show it off with more than an empire waistline. I’m sure I’m not the only one; other pregnant woman I’ve known have described a similar phase where the fat gets pushed out of the way before things round out fully. I just have a really unique belly that isn’t quite swollen enough to smooth-out. Yet.

So I suppose I want to encourage women with imperfect bumps. Idealistic image has even bled into what women are supposed to look like when they’re pregnant, but many women don’t have perfect bumps. Stretch marks, fat, rashes, linea nigra, and other things interrupt what we believe should be a beautiful image. But the beauty is that during pregnancy you are growing a human being and delivering life. So don’t let society sway your body image just because you have stretch marks. There’s plenty to worry about during pregnancy without fretting over the public image of your bump.

Personally, my cats have taken to using my two fatty bumps on top of my baby bump and my larger boobs as a stepping stair to the back of the chair. Lazy cats. -.-‘

The only additional thing to add from this past week is that I’ve had people asking me if I was pregnant, which really doesn’t bother me. The follow up question is always if I know the gender. Some people ask “do you know what it is?” to which I always reply “It’s a velociraptor,” if I feel I know them well enough. I get a lot of irked looks when I inform people that I’m waiting to release the gender of the child until after my baby shower. It’s like they don’t understand how quickly news travels in a retail store. Particularly in a small, tight-knit retail store. Oh well. I can handle the gruff looks.

I also have gotten a lot of advice following confirming I am pregnant. Complete strangers telling me to take it easy and go sit down, even though I insist that I am not a person to “slow down” and that being used to being on my feet helps pregnancy not throw a giant rutt in my day. Yet plenty of customers have insisted I go and sit down some where (always once their work has been completed, mind you).

Alas, I have also discovered just why it is that doctors insist you eat small frequent meals. In addition to the practicalities small frequent meals accommodate in your metabolism and bodily function, there is another important factor to consider. Your stomach is becoming increasingly cramped, and based on the internal movements of your unborn child it can shrink rapidly and may even sustain a kick or two. This means that if you eat a large meal, sit down to enjoy the relaxation which follows, and your unborn spawn suddenly wants to sit under mummy’s ribs and have a few good kicks, you may find stomach acid and parts of your meal making their way back into your mouth. If you are lucky, they will stop there. I had the unfortunate experience of nearly coughing up half of my breakfast today. Yikes.

And thus I warn you: small frequent meals, never large ones.

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